Thursday, September 24, 2009

U.N. Review

Today is Thursday, 24 September 2009.

Despite many flaws, the comedy routine that “Colonel” Muammar al-Khadaffy, evita peronista dictator of Libya, debuted before the UN General Assembly yesterday wasn’t a total bomb.

For starters, that hair, that Superman hair! “Paint it black!” as the Stones sang. I understand it’s done by the same technician who did Reagan. And maybe a lady in the audience can help me: dye or rinse? (Maybe it’s Maybelline!) Though, personally, I would have gone with some vivid green highlights, to say, paraphrasing Helen Reddy, “I am Muslim, Hear me roar!”

Costume-wise, stick to uniforms. The faux Sons-of-the-Desert outfit made your ass look fat.

The face was … how can I put this kindly? …less than successful. Botox, liposuction, and nip-n-tuck don’t mix in the 21st century. Ask Joan Rivers. Muammar girl, you need to spend some major time watching Bravo. Or maybe invite Paula Abdul down to host Desert Makeover. I hear she’s got some free time.

Anywho, green highlights would have been a nice segue into the introduction before the speech, as “Leader of the Revolution, President of the African Union, the King of Kings of Africa”. Again, too understated for great comedy; the man needs to let his mojo flow! Should have added, “The Valentino of Tripoli, The Daffydil of the Desert, The Ayatollah of Rock-and-Rollah, The Greatest, al-Khadaffy Ali!”

And the monologue, Muammar … may I call you Mooey? … Leno on a bad night. “Brevity is the soul of wit”, as Idi Amin once observed. Nobody does 90-minute monologues any more, except maybe Jackie Mason, and I don’t think you want to go there.

Sure, there were some funny moments, such as “The rights of the Taliban to impose an Islamic caliphate shall not be abridged”, a clever reference to the Second Amendment, and translating the classic Abbott and Costello routine, “Who’s on first?” into Arabic and performing it to “Thriller” as a hip-hop ballad was inspired, but the JFK assassination conspiracy bit has been done to death, as it were.

And the “Where can a poor Bedouin boy like me pitch his air-conditioned tent?” subplot. Oy! It was done on Happy Days in 1977, when The Fonz jumped the shark. Didn’t work then, doesn’t work now. Marks you as a sitcom in terminal decline, and still makes your ass look fat.

Spend some time with the collected works of Mort Sahl and Bob Newhart.

Though I must confess: your 150-strong all-girl Amazon Bodyguard Corp rocks! Very 1975 Hugh Hefner. Gotta get me one of those.


Anonymous earthboundmisfit said...

Maybe Moammar is angling for a role in an upcoming Austin Powers movie...

11:20 PM  
Blogger HH said...

Shag-a-delic, baby!

11:46 PM  
Anonymous countess of accounting said...

Well, Saturday Night Live totally agreed with your assessment! Of all the "characters" (Obama, etc., etc.) and scenarios they could have chosen for the opening bit on their season premiere, they featured Moammar and his "speech."

9:26 AM  
Blogger HH said...

And MoB scooped SNL by 2 days! Send that straight to the bottom line!

10:25 AM  

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