Saturday, April 10, 2010

Bigotry at Augusta "National"

Today is Saturday, 10 April 2010.

William Porter “Billy” Payne is an unnotable lawyer from Athens, Georgia, and Chairman of Centennial Holding Company, a real estate venture. He was President and CEO of the Atlanta Committee for the Olympic Games. “Billy” is now chairman of the Augusta National Golf Club, in Augusta, Georgia, site of the Masters Tournament.

In the latter capacity, “Billy” peeped out from under his sheet this past week, preening before the opening of the Tournament, while trashing Tiger Woods.

“His future will never again be measured only by his performance against par, but measured by the sincerity of his effort to change. I hope he now realizes that every kid he passes on the course wants this swing, but would settle for his smile … He forgot in the process to remember that with fame and fortune comes responsibility, not invisibility. It is not simply the degree of his conduct that is so egregious here, it is the fact that he disappointed all of us.”

Pardon moi, “Billy” boy, but have you ever made such egregious remarks about a white golfer, many of whom lead lives not precisely squeaky-clean? I thought not. And didn’t Augusta National refuse to admit Black members until 1990? I thought so. And doesn’t Augusta National still promote a homoerotic atmosphere, refusing to admit females to membership? Thought so again.

So you’re at least two types of bigot. Shall I say “Jew” and see if you can make it three?

Isn’t the subtext here your anger and resentment that a “big black buck”* (in the words of Dwight Eisenhower, an Augusta National member) has been received with open arms by white women?

Joining “Billy” among the prominent male organs who support sexist bigotry at Augusta National (which, despite the pretentious name, isn’t really “national”, but just a good-ol’-boy cracker shack in eastern Georgia; Augusta town motto: “We Feel Good!”, a reference to the city’s medical business) are Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and T. Boone Pickens, Jr., who should all be ashamed of themselves, had they at long last some sense of decency.

* Eisenhower responding to news of Brown v. Board, the U.S. Supreme Court decision outlawing public school segregation: "Do you really want some big black buck sitting next to your little Susie"?

One of these days, MoB will begin podcasting, so you’ll be able to hear me deliver this column with a Southern-fried accent!


To: Jon Ensign, sex-crazed adulterous Republican senator from Nevada.

I know the jackals and hyenas are baying for your blood. They believe you’re hurting the electoral chances of Nevada Republicans this November.

Just because you “pleasured” the wife of one of your top aides, then used your senatorial influence to steer consulting and lobbying business to the unhappy husband. Illegally. And had your parents gift him with $96,000, which I’m certain wasn’t hush money, or anything tacky and desperate like that.

Don’t listen to them sirens, Jon. Be a real willie-waving MAN, lash yourself to the manly main mast, and take as many of them down with you as possible.

Your friends at The Museum of the Bourgeois

P.S. Do you nickname yours “Jonny”, the way “Billy” nicknames his “Billy”?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your insight into the small minds of small people who huddle together and use their deep pockets to create illusionary worlds in which their beliefs cannot be touched or challenged; only enhanced and reinforced. They are not to be envied or admired, but pittied, for they have made themselves immunue to the natural consequences for wayward behaviour that most of us are subject too - that Tiger Woods has been subject to. They will learn after death, but then it will be too late (ooops).

11:48 AM  

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